All Souls Day (2020) “How Long Will Grief Last?”
All Souls Day (2020) “How Long Will Grief Last?”
We all like to know how long something is going to take. I know I do. We have been doing a lot of maintenance work at Sacred Heart and that always means that we have the joy of working with contractors. Contractors always seem to be a week early or a month late. Anyone who has done home repair knows the drill.
We want to know when something is going to done so we can go on with our lives. Many people who deal with the death of a loved one struggle with impatience as well. How often I have heard someone say, “How come I am still feeling so sad? When will this feeling end?”
Grieving does not take place on a schedule. Many people try to deny their feelings by having a loved one’s funeral as quickly as possible with as few rituals as they can. Unfortunately, if we do not process grief at the time of a death we will have to deal with later. We need to be patient with ourselves.
I lost a dear friend seven years ago this month. We spent many hours together and had innumerable deep conversations. When I had a problem, I would call him up and talk to him about it and I could trust my friend’s sage advice.
When November comes each year, I remember my friend’s death. He died of Parkinson’s disease. I recall the last conversations we had, and I recall presiding at his funeral. This was a lifelong friend and a mentor. I will never get over the grief. It is not a debilitating grief, but something that just gnaws at me now and then.
When I feel sad, I just give thanks for the 58 years we knew each other. I look forward to when I will see him again. I realize that he was a man of faith and I know he is with God in a state of bliss.
On this All Souls day we pray for all those who we have loved and lost. This feast day is a help to processing our grief. It is all right to shed a tear today.
- Am I still grieving for someone who has died long ago? Do I feel like there is something wrong with that
- Who is it I grieve for? What can I give thanks for today in connection to that relationship?
Dear Parishioners,
We are in the eighth day of our Novena in advance of the election. Today we say one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be. After that we reflect on the following:
“May we keep in mind the gift of religious freedom and our duty to defend and exercise it as faithful citizens.”
Giving thanks for our own freedom, we should pray for Christians who are persecuted and killed worldwide, for Muslims who are discriminated against and assaulted for their faith, for Jewish people who continue to face the sinister hatred of anti-Semitism. Pray for the Uighurs in China, who are held by the thousands in detention centers. Pray for the protection of conscience rights of those in the United States whose religious beliefs may run contrary to popular opinion. Pray that no one in the United State lives in fear because of their faith.
We can continue to pray that all people find love in their hearts, and that hatred, fear and prejudice is not wielded in the name of faith. May the same be true for those who represent us and make executive, legislative and judicial decisions on our behalf.
May Our Lady and All the Angels and Saints watch over you today.
Fr. Mark