Feast of the Holy Family/ “Living with a Family Takes Virtue”
Feast of the Holy Family/ “Living with a Family Takes Virtue”
Family life is all about adjusting to the unexpected big and small. Unanticipated things happen. A meal left in the oven too long burns. A child that has learning disabilities and must be tutored. The downsizing of a company that leads to job loss. All of us could add to this list.
When we think of the stories of Jesus’ early life the one common theme is about the surprises life offers. Mary had a mystical vision of an angel, that told her of a supernatural pregnancy. Joseph had a dream where Mary’s pregnancy is explained to him. He accepts the responsibility for the child Jesus. He moves ahead. The Holy Family had to leave their home because they had to fulfill the wishes of an emperor who lived hundreds of miles away who wanted them to be counted in Bethlehem their ancestral city. When they get to Bethlehem, Mary and Joseph found no room at the local hotel, so they improvised. Jesus is born in a stable. Shepherds came uninvited. Magi visited. After that they had to flee for their lives because a tyrannical king wanted to kill Jesus. One common virtue keeps coming up in all the stories, patience. Patience the key virtue in family life. When we don’t use it, we can hurt our family deeply. When we do exercise it, we find God moments.
A story is told of an Uber driver who was trying to make a few extra dollars. Time was precious if he was going to make any money. One day as he was soliciting rides, he got a call from a 90-year-old aunt who had never been married. She was a simple soul, not all that interesting. She said, “Johnny, I understand that you can be hired to give rides to people.” He said, “Yes aunt Irene, I do.” The woman said, “I want you to give me a lift.” John had visions of taking his aunt to the grocery store, the doctor, to pay a bill, to get her hair done. He could make far more money giving rides to others. But he reluctantly said yes.
When he got to Irene’s house he went to the door. Irene came to the door. She had a small suitcase she was pulling behind her. John looked inside he noticed that all the furniture was neatly covered with sheets. He thought that was curious. He picked up the suitcase and put it in the car. He loaded his Aunt in the passenger seat. And he said, “Where to?” Irene said, “I want you to take me to a few places.” John was taken aback. He said, “Where do you want to go?” “I want to go to the house where I grew up in. I want to drive by the department store where I worked for 50 years. I would like to drive by the church so I could light a candle and pray. I want to stop by your mother’s house so I might speak to her…..After that you can take me to the nursing home because I just found out I am going on hospice…….” John turned off his cell phone. He drove Irene on her last ride. When they got to the nursing home John took Irene to the door. She asked, “How much do I owe you.” He said, “Nothing.” “But how can you afford to run a business like that?” He said, “Don’t worry it will be fine.” As the door to the home clicked shut behind him, he thought the door was closing on a life. He took no more fares that day. He just drove aimlessly for awhile thinking about what is most important.
To live in a family takes patience. We have many difficulties that impact family life today. Some touch on religion, for instance, the lack of religious practice among people of every age. Church community is considered unimportant in our culture. People don’t receive the grace of the sacraments whether that is Baptism, Eucharist or Confirmation. The most neglected sacrament is marriage. People move in and out of relationships. Children have little stability in their lives. Can all these situations be considered a positive for family life. No.
What can we do about difficult family situations? We must exercise the virtues that Paul talks about in the letter to the Colossians today. We must first be patient. Patience takes root when we understand that things aren’t always going to turn out the way I prefer. Patience says I am going to allow others to make their way towards a healthy lifestyle even if it takes time. The second virtue that must be practiced is kindness. I must show my love for my family in deeds even if I disagree. To strike out in anger won’t lead to good results. Another virtue I need to practice is humility. If I treat family members who stray from their faith with a dismissive attitude because I know more about religion will probably lead to deeper alienation.
Pope Francis in his Exhortation on the family called, “The Joy of Love” speaks of accompanying family members on the journey who are have chosen a questionable path in life. We wait for them to find out that what they have chosen won’t work. We are open to listening. We are ready with advice when it is finally asked for. We allow the Holy Spirit to nudge people in the right direction. We pray for the family members enlightenment.
We all know that loving our family in every situation isn’t easy. But to live without a sense of family is impossible. Jesus came to earth to be our brother. Mary is our Blessed Mother. Joseph is the foster father of the whole church. We give thanks that we are part of this holy family this Sunday.
Please note: rough draft, grammar may not be perfect.