Third Sunday of Advent
3rd Sunday of Advent/”Happiness and Joy are not the Same”
Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face.
Brush off clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It is not your style.
You will look so good that you’ll be glad.
Wipe off that full of doubt look,
Slap on a happy grin.
How many of us have heard this song at a time when we are not feeling especially happy? When we hear this song, we may feel guilty, ashamed that we can’t be happy in the face of difficulties.
When we read the scriptures today we may feel the same way. St. Paul commands us, “Rejoice always!” During Advent, the third Sunday, is labeled Gaudete Sunday which translates to “Rejoice Sunday.” Today is a day to rejoice, but how joyful do we feel? We sense we should be happy because all the messages we get in the commercials we are bombarded with during December, “for this the best time of the year.” But is this the most joyful time of the year?
A recent survey showed that 45% of people dread this time of the year. Why? The list of reasons is long. Some people dislike it because of financial pressure. Other are not looking forward to getting together with relatives they are at odds with. At other times of the year we can avoid difficult family relationships, but this time of the year there is a sense of obligation to congregate with every family member. Another reason people do not enjoy this time of year is because of memories of sadness from holidays past. Maybe we recall an untimely death. Perhaps there are memories of family crisis. So, there can be a guilt that comes from the holidays which says why am such a Grinch. Why do identify with Scrooge more than Tiny Tim?
Perhaps the problem is that we do not understand what true joy is. We equate it with happiness. But the two things are not the same. Happiness is rather shallow. Joy in contrast is deep. Happiness has to do with enjoying pleasure in the moment. Joy is all about cultivating a long-lasting virtue. Happiness is something what comes and goes depending on how we are being stimulated. Joy can be internalized. We can live life from a joyful perspective.
Who are the joyful people? Going back to the song a minute we might think they are people who walk around with a perpetual smile on their face. But some of the most joy filled people have sad faces. Study a picture of Mother Theresa. Does she have a silly grin on her face? No, her face is a serious face. The face is wrinkled. Her brow is furrowed. No make-up hides the time worn look. Her eyes are the eyes that has seen suffering over and over. Did she smile? Yes. But she did so when it was appropriate. Hers was not a forced smile. One of her favorite quotes came from St. Francis of Assisi. He said, “This is perfect joy, to share in the sufferings of the world as Christ did.” Suffering and joy were not totally opposed in her mind. Perhaps that is why in the Gospel of John when Jesus speaks of the cross he speaks of being “lifted up, uplifted.”
St. Paul gives us three ways of cultivating the virtue of joy in his Letter to the Thessalonians. The first way is to be a moral person. We might think that this means we stop sinning. If we have a clear conscience, that would seem to lead to joy. Not necessarily, what leads to joy is the belief that God’s love remains even if we do sin. God will never stop loving us even if we fail. To believe that, according to St. Paul, is to find joy. God’s love is irrevocable. The belief in his loving father sustained Jesus in the hour of his suffering.
The second way to find joy is to pray unceasingly. Too often, we misunderstand this as well. Paul did not walk around the dusty roads of the ancient world fingering his rosary. Praying always speaks of attitude where we lead a life of reflection, believing that God speaks to us at every moment in the concrete situations of our lives. Prayerful people cultivate awareness.
The third way of finding joy is to have a mindset of thankfulness. “In all circumstances, give thanks,” Paul says. Do we take time to appreciate the blessing that come to us in ordinary events? If we do, we need not have to constantly be over stimulated. We also do not set unrealistic expectations. Keeping things simple leads to a satisfaction with life.
During these holidays we can be absorbed in seeking momentary pleasures. Pleasure is not evil, but it is not the Christian’s goal in life. Our goal is to find joy in life which is not short lived, but is a foretaste of eternity.